I Saw the Sign

You know what drives me nuts? Church signs. Not all church signs, but most church signs. Specifically the ones that have those pithy little tongue-in-cheak sayings that usually end up somewhere in between "really offensive" and "meaningless to people who aren't Christians."

I know a lot of Christians think these little sayings are cute, but should that really be the point of a church sign? To make other Christians think they are cute. A sign is the first contact most churches have with people in their community. It defines them. It identifies them. And so how do a lot of churches choose to identify themselves? By showing love and acceptance? Compassion and mercy? Relevance? Well, often it is something else. When I was still living in Memphis I drove by a couple of churches that regularly had signs that made me want to pull my hair out, rip by shirt, and punch myself in the face... or at least gripe about it every time it crossed my mind. One sign quote I remember clearly was, "God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve." No joke. They actually love God's children enough to write that on the sign that identifies their church. Nothing says, "Let us show you Jesus' unconditional love" more than a sign like that. Another church had a sign that once said, "In the beginning was the Word, the King James Bible." Really, that's what Jesus read? Moses spoke 16th century English? Wow, I never knew that. Darn those Greek and Hebrew classes!

Here are quotes from some other church signs I found. Feel free to comment on your favorites. Vote for the one that shows God's grace and love the best.

"Give Satan an inch and he'll be your ruler." Darnit, I'd better cancel my plans to play euchre online tonight. That might lead to playing poker online, then to playing poker in person. That might lead to gambling, and we all know that playing games of chance is sinful, right up there with listening to the Eagles... you know, since they are Satan worshippers and all.

"Try Jesus. If you don't like him the devil will always take you back." -- I'm convinced now, please help me become a Christian immediately.

"Friends don't let friends go to hell." -- No, they condemn them to hell instead.

"The Koran needs to be flushed." -- This sign is obviously written to witness to Muslims. I bet this would make them want to be Christians.

"If your religion will not take you to church it will not take U to heaven." -- Interesting thought, but I must have missed that part of the Bible.

"Stop drop and roll won't work in hell. - God" -- Nice.

And my personal favorite...

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

Ok, so maybe it isn't. I know Christmas is still a few months away, but I actually saw some Christmas merchandise in a store recently (yeah, it was still September when I saw it) and I thought of this story.



"To the dismay of Christians, City Hall’s dignity is marred by an ungainly appendage between Thanksgiving and Christmas each year. A red trailer is chained to a parking meter on the east side of City Hall. A sign hanging slightly askew says “Santa’s Workshop.” Children are brought into the dimly lit room, most of them wailing and kicking, and have their picture taken with another bony Santa. This of course is an exercise for the parents, not the children, and Santa does a brisk business in Hartville. A small gray speaker mounted on top of the trailer plays a tinny “Rudolph” by Gene Autry and the Peanuts theme by Vince Guaraldi. Every thirty seconds Mrs. Santa invites the “kiddies” waiting outside to think hard about what they want her husband to bring them this year. On this fateful night Mrs. Santa was in rare form.

Not far away, about fifty people huddled together in front of City Hall with signs that read “Jesus Is the Reason for the Season,” “Put Christ Back in Christmas” and “Santa Didn’t Die for Your Sins!” The sun was nearly finished for the day, and shoppers scurried along with their bags. A line about fifteen feet deep formed in front of Santa’s place as parents tried to beat closing time. Deacon Wright, a former marine, and looking somewhat like Bull Conner at a civil rights march, led the way, encouraging his followers by chanting, “You can’t take our holiday!” [This is my interjection, but for the record "our holiday" is referring to the celebration of Christ's birth that the church moved up a couple of months to coincide with the Pagan festivities surrounding the winter solstice, so in a way it is the holiday we took from them...] “

They repeated in unison, “You can’t take our holiday" "It’s in our heart and here to stay!”

“Sound off, Jesus!”

“Sound off, he’s born!”

There are conflicting reports about how the fight began. [yes, how the fight began] Some say one of the elves asked the marchers to lower the volume of their singing. Others contend it was the nasally sound of Gene Autry that pushed the protesters over the brink. Whatever it was, the next day the headline on the front of the Daily News said, “Police Arrest Four in Skirmish with Santa.” Christmas is supposed to bring peace on earth, goodwill to men, but just the opposite happened at City Hall last night. Four protesters were arrested, then released after allegedly attacking Santa Claus at his holiday workshop. One elf was also slightly injured."



This story is so ridiculous it's actually pretty stinkin' funny, but then again its really sad at the same time.

It takes unselfish people...

Over the last few days I've been thinking a lot about how selfish I am. I can't even describe all the ways, the little seemingly insignificant ways that my selfishness is put on display. The more I think about it, selfishness really sucks. I don't mean that it sucks when other people are selfish and it ends up meaning that I get the short end of the stick. I mean it sucks to be selfish, because even getting everything I want, when and how I want it, doesn't make me truly happy. I just end up pushing the envelope a little farther and wanting more.

I've realized that selfishness is really the opposite of love. Love says, "I can't stand for you not to be happy." Love says, "I will gladly go out of my way, to the ends of the earth, to make sure you have what you need and most of what you want." Love says, "No matter what--no matter how you treat me, no matter what I get out of it, no matter what it costs me--no matter what, I'll always be there for you." Selfishness says, "Won't you do _____ to make me happy?" Selfishness says, "Why won't you go out of your way for me?" Selfishness says, "I love you, but..."

I am coming to realize that selfishness messes up God's plans, because his plans are executed out of love... love of God, love of neighbor, and on some level love of self. I have learned first hand that one of the most freeing things in life is letting go of my desire to get something... being freed from the bondage of selfishness. I can't count the number of times I have worried and fretted about something situation without seeing any change, only to have things work out perfectly once I stopped worrying and just put the situation to God's hands. I've read a quote several times that says something like, "True happiness is not getting what you want, but being satisfied with what you have." I have experienced it time and again, but I can't seem to really get it through my head that I am a lot better off when I let God take care of me instead of trying to take care of myself. And so my selfishness persists.

No matter how I look at it, no matter what area of life I think of, it seems like it takes unselfish people to fulfill God's plans and purposes for our lives. If I really want what God has for me, I have to get over myself long enough to let God give it to me. If I want to live out the Great Commission and reach people for Christ, I have to be willing to give up my time and my comfort to build relationships and talk with people. I have to be willing to give up "my church" with the songs I like and the messages that feed me and be willing to unselfishly realize that maybe somebody else needs what they need more than I need what I need. If I want to be a good husband, I have to quit asking what my wife has done for me and ask myself why I haven't done more for her. Being selfish sucks. I don't want to be selfish, but it is as natural as breathing. So my selfishness persists.