I Saw the Sign

You know what drives me nuts? Church signs. Not all church signs, but most church signs. Specifically the ones that have those pithy little tongue-in-cheak sayings that usually end up somewhere in between "really offensive" and "meaningless to people who aren't Christians."

I know a lot of Christians think these little sayings are cute, but should that really be the point of a church sign? To make other Christians think they are cute. A sign is the first contact most churches have with people in their community. It defines them. It identifies them. And so how do a lot of churches choose to identify themselves? By showing love and acceptance? Compassion and mercy? Relevance? Well, often it is something else. When I was still living in Memphis I drove by a couple of churches that regularly had signs that made me want to pull my hair out, rip by shirt, and punch myself in the face... or at least gripe about it every time it crossed my mind. One sign quote I remember clearly was, "God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve." No joke. They actually love God's children enough to write that on the sign that identifies their church. Nothing says, "Let us show you Jesus' unconditional love" more than a sign like that. Another church had a sign that once said, "In the beginning was the Word, the King James Bible." Really, that's what Jesus read? Moses spoke 16th century English? Wow, I never knew that. Darn those Greek and Hebrew classes!

Here are quotes from some other church signs I found. Feel free to comment on your favorites. Vote for the one that shows God's grace and love the best.

"Give Satan an inch and he'll be your ruler." Darnit, I'd better cancel my plans to play euchre online tonight. That might lead to playing poker online, then to playing poker in person. That might lead to gambling, and we all know that playing games of chance is sinful, right up there with listening to the Eagles... you know, since they are Satan worshippers and all.

"Try Jesus. If you don't like him the devil will always take you back." -- I'm convinced now, please help me become a Christian immediately.

"Friends don't let friends go to hell." -- No, they condemn them to hell instead.

"The Koran needs to be flushed." -- This sign is obviously written to witness to Muslims. I bet this would make them want to be Christians.

"If your religion will not take you to church it will not take U to heaven." -- Interesting thought, but I must have missed that part of the Bible.

"Stop drop and roll won't work in hell. - God" -- Nice.

And my personal favorite...