Cliff Jumping

This past summer I did something I had never done before. I went cliff jumping… well, at least the southern Indiana version of it. My wife and I have friends who have access to an abandoned stripper pit that is perfect for such an activity. (For those of you not from coal mining country, let me assure you that a stripper pit has nothing to do with topless dancers! Just think: long, narrow, deep lake with high, steep rock walls on each side.) Those who know me well know that I get basically zero enjoyment out of anything that has to do with getting wet, but there is also an adventurous side of me, and so the opportunity to climb around on rocks, shimmy up trees, and rely on loosely anchored vines to “safely” glide from one place to the next on the side of a steeply inclined rocky surface before jumping two or three stories down like a crazy person was enough incentive for me to put up with getting wet.

So… I went along, and IT WAS AWESOME! I had a blast. It was incredibly cool, after a really challenging climb up the side of the rock wall, to look down at the twisted, crisscrossed path I took to get to my jumping point and realize, “Yeah, I just conquered that!”

But I quickly learned two things. First, I learned that it is a way more intimidating to stand at the top and look down than it was to look up from below. Next, I learned that once you’re at the top you really don’t have much of a choice about what to do next. So you can hem and haw, fret and fuss, and freak out all you want, but unless you plan on living the rest of your life standing on that one foot square ledge 30 feet above the water below, sooner or later you are going to have to jump. After all, the purpose of cliff jumping isn’t just to get to the top. The purpose is to get to the top AND JUMP! All of the courage-mustering and fear-facing, the testing and grabbing and stepping your way up, all of that is for the express purpose of standing up on the ledge, looking down, and taking that oh-so-exhilarating plunge into the cool waters below. So what do you do? You take a deep breath, bend your knees just enough to spring back up, and you go for it!

Over the last few weeks I have been thinking that we often have a lot of opportunities for cliff jumping—the proverbial kind—in life, and Michelle and I have been faced with a big one recently. You see, in a lot of ways we have spent the better part of the last 18 months grabbing, pulling, and stepping our way up the side of this big rock cliff in front of us. Even without knowing what the eventual destination looked like, we have been working our way up, hoping our view of the top becomes a little more clear with each move. And that’s just what happened. As little by little we made our way higher, bits and pieces of the picture began to come together, and we found ourselves become more and more certain of God’s leading. As we pushed upward, with each grasp of the sandstone rock we were able to more clearly see his plan unfolding. Then, after what seemed like an exhausting journey, we made it to the top. In our case, the top came in the form of a formal call being issued, a job offer being presented.

Then… the time came for the decision (*cue dramatic sound effect here*). Though the answer couldn’t have been clearer to us, it was anything but easy. We spent a lot of time thinking of all we would give up, all we would leave behind, all it would cost in terms of dollars and relationships and stress and change, all of the things that may never be the same… and at the very same time we were thinking of all we would gain, all we would get in terms of new opportunities and relationships and experiences. And as I said before, we knew the point of the exercise, the purpose of the journey, wasn’t just to get to the top. So next thing you know we were bending our knees ever so slightly and pushing off, all the way to Albuquerque, NM. (That’s a 1,216 mile jump. Just in case you’re curious. Which you probably aren't.)

I’d be lying if I said we aren’t the least bit nervous. Or sad. Or scared. But I’d also be lying if I said we weren’t super excited. And joyful. And confident that we are doing exactly what God is calling us to do, following the path he has set before us, and appreciating all of the pieces he has been putting in place over a long period of time to prepare us and to make it all possible.

So yeah… we’re moving to Albuquerque. 

It's been quite a journey!

If you would have asked me last June what my expectations were for the next year and a half, never in a hundred thousand lifetimes would I have accurately guessed the journey my life would take over the next 15 months. I would have suggested that you were straightjacket-in-a-padded-room crazy if you would have suggested that there was even the slightest possibility that:

1. I would feel God call my wife and  me to step away from a church we helped launch, that we loved, and that we had devoted ourselves to for five amazing years. 

2. We would actually have the guts to be obedient to God’s call, even when I had no job, no plan, and no clue what the future would look like.  

3. I would end up driving 150 miles each day to work on my family’s farm, continuously considering the question of whether or not I want to start the process of taking over the business. 

4. I would suffer through some of the darkest, most difficult, painful, frustrating weeks--or maybe months--I have ever experienced, struggling for any inkling of direction or purpose. 

5. I would come through on the other side renewed and refreshed and better equipped for whatever the future might hold, with a ton of new perspective and a reignited passion for ministry. 

6. That because of #5 I would actually be thankful for #4. 

Needless to say, it’s been an interesting journey.

I’ve learned a lot.

I’ve grown a lot.

I think I’ve matured a lot.

And I think a big part of that learning and growing and maturing is because I’ve also:

Prayed a lot.

Sought God a lot.

Focused on my relationship with God just because he’s my savior and my friend and not because it’s my job… a lot.

When I stepped away from my church I did so with excitement and eager anticipation about whatever spectacular and amazing and life-changing adventure God had in store for us. I couldn’t wait to figure out where we would be going or what we would be doing. Those questions consumed me. Maybe we would head to some exciting far-off country as missionaries. Maybe we would help lead some awesomely awesome church that was changing the world one person at a time. Or maybe… I would wait… and wait… and wait… and seemingly nothing would happen. At all.

As time marched on and those questions remained unanswered, the excitement and anticipation graciously stepped aside to make way for anxiety, frustration, disappointment, disillusionment, and despair to take center stage. Though I was still trying to trust in God, a part of me felt like he had let me down. I was thinking, “You spoke and I obeyed. I held up my end of the bargain. What’s the deal?!” It felt like a bait and switch and God was saying, “Oh, just kidding. Gotcha!”

But  here’s the thing… You see, I was so obsessed with the endpoint that I completely missed the fact that maybe, just maybe, all of this had almost nothing to do with the destination and EVERYTHING to do with the journey. I was expecting something spectacular and amazing and life-changing, and I felt like I got something different. But as I look back I can see now that even though I might not describe the journey as spectacular or amazing, it has absolutely been life-changing.

And it was just exactly what I needed.

And I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Whatever it is that God does have it store... I wasn’t ready for it in February. Or May. Or September. God had work to do in me first. He STILL has work to do. The truth, though, is that there may have been no other way for me to learn what I’ve learned, grow how I’ve grown, and mature how I’ve matured without going through all I’ve gone through and experiencing all I’ve experienced. I couldn’t see that then, but I can see it so clearly now.

I’m still waiting for a clear sense of direction or a sure answer to those destination questions, and I’d be lying if I said that didn’t bug me at all. But as I realize all the ways God has been working in me, changing me, I am thankful that even though I don’t yet know the destination, all along God’s grand purpose may have been the journey.

“I am trusting you, O Lord, saying, ‘You are my God!’ My future is in your hands.” ~ Psalm 31:14-15a NLT

Positively Positive about being Positive

Have you ever met somebody who is always positive, always looking on “the bright side,” always able to point out the silver lining (What the heck is silver lining anyway? The closest thing to silver lining I can think of is the silky, shiny lining on the inside of a casket, and let’s face it, that’s not a very positive thing to think about at all.), and who never seems to admit that anything about any situation could ever, possibly be even slightly less than perfect? Sure you’ve met someone like that. We all have. The real question is whether or not you managed to keep from hitting them and saying, "Yo! Look on the bright side of that!"

Those of you who know me well know that I tend to be more of… a realist. That is, of course, the best way to be. (I say that only slightly tongue in cheek and with only a little sarcasm.) With my endless free time, though, I've been watching the slick, smiling Joel Osteen on TV, and I’ve decided that I need to start trying to live My Best Life Now. That undoubtedly has to start with being a little more positive. With that in mind, I’ve come up with a very positive list.


The Top Nine Benefits of Being Unemployed
(Because I couldn’t think of 10)

9. It’s like having unlimited vacation… though it is unlimited UNPAID vacation. Minor detail.

8. I don’t contribute to the statistics showing the loss of productivity during March Madness.

7. Instead of freaking out and frantically fretting, “How can I manage to get everything done today?” I can ask, “How can I manage to find something to get done today?”

6. Two words: Online Gaming.

5. Two more words: Daytime Television! Ummm… maybe not.

4. Knowing when my wife leaves for work at 7:30 that I can sleep till noon and nobody will even know. Seriously, I don’t sleep till noon… but I COULD.

3. I pay less taxes.

2. Shower? What shower?

1. It helps me appreciate the blessings of having a good, honest, meaningful job, even when it is difficult or frustrating.


Have you ever been sans paycheck? What positive(s) did you find in it?