It's been quite a journey!

If you would have asked me last June what my expectations were for the next year and a half, never in a hundred thousand lifetimes would I have accurately guessed the journey my life would take over the next 15 months. I would have suggested that you were straightjacket-in-a-padded-room crazy if you would have suggested that there was even the slightest possibility that:

1. I would feel God call my wife and  me to step away from a church we helped launch, that we loved, and that we had devoted ourselves to for five amazing years. 

2. We would actually have the guts to be obedient to God’s call, even when I had no job, no plan, and no clue what the future would look like.  

3. I would end up driving 150 miles each day to work on my family’s farm, continuously considering the question of whether or not I want to start the process of taking over the business. 

4. I would suffer through some of the darkest, most difficult, painful, frustrating weeks--or maybe months--I have ever experienced, struggling for any inkling of direction or purpose. 

5. I would come through on the other side renewed and refreshed and better equipped for whatever the future might hold, with a ton of new perspective and a reignited passion for ministry. 

6. That because of #5 I would actually be thankful for #4. 

Needless to say, it’s been an interesting journey.

I’ve learned a lot.

I’ve grown a lot.

I think I’ve matured a lot.

And I think a big part of that learning and growing and maturing is because I’ve also:

Prayed a lot.

Sought God a lot.

Focused on my relationship with God just because he’s my savior and my friend and not because it’s my job… a lot.

When I stepped away from my church I did so with excitement and eager anticipation about whatever spectacular and amazing and life-changing adventure God had in store for us. I couldn’t wait to figure out where we would be going or what we would be doing. Those questions consumed me. Maybe we would head to some exciting far-off country as missionaries. Maybe we would help lead some awesomely awesome church that was changing the world one person at a time. Or maybe… I would wait… and wait… and wait… and seemingly nothing would happen. At all.

As time marched on and those questions remained unanswered, the excitement and anticipation graciously stepped aside to make way for anxiety, frustration, disappointment, disillusionment, and despair to take center stage. Though I was still trying to trust in God, a part of me felt like he had let me down. I was thinking, “You spoke and I obeyed. I held up my end of the bargain. What’s the deal?!” It felt like a bait and switch and God was saying, “Oh, just kidding. Gotcha!”

But  here’s the thing… You see, I was so obsessed with the endpoint that I completely missed the fact that maybe, just maybe, all of this had almost nothing to do with the destination and EVERYTHING to do with the journey. I was expecting something spectacular and amazing and life-changing, and I felt like I got something different. But as I look back I can see now that even though I might not describe the journey as spectacular or amazing, it has absolutely been life-changing.

And it was just exactly what I needed.

And I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Whatever it is that God does have it store... I wasn’t ready for it in February. Or May. Or September. God had work to do in me first. He STILL has work to do. The truth, though, is that there may have been no other way for me to learn what I’ve learned, grow how I’ve grown, and mature how I’ve matured without going through all I’ve gone through and experiencing all I’ve experienced. I couldn’t see that then, but I can see it so clearly now.

I’m still waiting for a clear sense of direction or a sure answer to those destination questions, and I’d be lying if I said that didn’t bug me at all. But as I realize all the ways God has been working in me, changing me, I am thankful that even though I don’t yet know the destination, all along God’s grand purpose may have been the journey.

“I am trusting you, O Lord, saying, ‘You are my God!’ My future is in your hands.” ~ Psalm 31:14-15a NLT

Positively Positive about being Positive

Have you ever met somebody who is always positive, always looking on “the bright side,” always able to point out the silver lining (What the heck is silver lining anyway? The closest thing to silver lining I can think of is the silky, shiny lining on the inside of a casket, and let’s face it, that’s not a very positive thing to think about at all.), and who never seems to admit that anything about any situation could ever, possibly be even slightly less than perfect? Sure you’ve met someone like that. We all have. The real question is whether or not you managed to keep from hitting them and saying, "Yo! Look on the bright side of that!"

Those of you who know me well know that I tend to be more of… a realist. That is, of course, the best way to be. (I say that only slightly tongue in cheek and with only a little sarcasm.) With my endless free time, though, I've been watching the slick, smiling Joel Osteen on TV, and I’ve decided that I need to start trying to live My Best Life Now. That undoubtedly has to start with being a little more positive. With that in mind, I’ve come up with a very positive list.


The Top Nine Benefits of Being Unemployed
(Because I couldn’t think of 10)

9. It’s like having unlimited vacation… though it is unlimited UNPAID vacation. Minor detail.

8. I don’t contribute to the statistics showing the loss of productivity during March Madness.

7. Instead of freaking out and frantically fretting, “How can I manage to get everything done today?” I can ask, “How can I manage to find something to get done today?”

6. Two words: Online Gaming.

5. Two more words: Daytime Television! Ummm… maybe not.

4. Knowing when my wife leaves for work at 7:30 that I can sleep till noon and nobody will even know. Seriously, I don’t sleep till noon… but I COULD.

3. I pay less taxes.

2. Shower? What shower?

1. It helps me appreciate the blessings of having a good, honest, meaningful job, even when it is difficult or frustrating.


Have you ever been sans paycheck? What positive(s) did you find in it?

Untitled (Really, that's the title!)

One of the questions bouncing around my head lately as I try and figure out what the future looks like has to do with my identity as a “pastor.” Is a pastor really a pastor without a church to pastor? Is a minister without a place to minister really a minister at all? If a tree falls in a woods and no one is there to hear it… oh, sorry.

Really, this is something I’ve been mulling over for several years now. I’ve wondered if the whole idea that some people are called and set aside for this special, weird assignment of being a 40-50/hour a week paid staff person in a local church is as much a biblical construct as it is one born of convenience and tradition. That’s not to say it’s wrong, just that maybe it’s not grounded in scripture.

As someone who has had the great privilege of having his livelihood provided for by the generosity and sacrifice of people in local churches, it may sound weird to say, but allow me to suggest that I am no more called than you are. We are ALL called to follow Jesus and live our lives as fully, radically devoted followers of Christ, and I think it’s tragic that we reserve that language of call for the “professionals” in “full-time ministry.” It seems to me that our work (whatever that happens to be), our kids sports leagues and school activities, and our every day comings and goings are to be our full-time ministry, done for the glory of God and the growth of the Kingdom. Certainly God calls individuals to do certain things, but that’s just it. God calls more than just some of us; he calls all of us, and he calls all of us to ministry full-time.

It’s at least partially because of that conviction that I’ve never been much for having some ministry-related title affixed to my name. I get some crazy looks when I tell people this, but I have never liked for people to call me Reverend Bunting or Pastor Geoff or anything of the sort. I have been and will always be just Geoff, no title needed. My identity is follower of Jesus. My occupation is pastor… or was… or… I don’t know. But my point is, we don’t typically go around referring to everyone else by their occupation. “Hey there, Banker Bob! How’s it going, Construction Worker Carl? Nice day, isn’t it, Wal-Mart Greeter Wilma? How’s life, Unemployed… Uma?” And even as I’m preaching or teaching or doing whatever it is that pastors do, I’m likely no more serving God out of the calling he’s given me than many of the other people I see on Sunday mornings; it may just look different. Up until a month ago I have been serving as a pastor. That is certainly a part of who I am. But there is more that identifies me than the fact that I draw a paycheck from a church… especially since I no longer draw a paycheck from a church… or any place else. Minor detail.

As I’ve been thinking and praying and reading over the past few weeks I’ve been realizing that sometimes I get so caught up in what God has called me to DO (whatever that might just happen to be) that I forget who he has called me to BE. Feel free to disagree, but my identity has never been as a pastor, a student, a whatever. For the past 14 years of my life I have been a follower of Jesus first and foremost. That is my identity. That is who I am. Everything else is secondary.

So whatever I do for a career and however I draw a paycheck, I will be serving in ministry, and I will be serving in a church; I may just not be drawing a paycheck from a career of serving in a church. And if that is what God leads me to do, I’m okay with that. Because regardless of what I do, my identity is as a Christian, a follower of Jesus Christ. And beyond that, no title is needed.

P.S. I've included links here and here to a couple of blog posts that really hit home with me about this same issue.